When I was pregnant, I was told to exercise, to eat right, to walk, to breath and to try and give birth naturally. I had a myriad discussions around breastfeeding, the length of breastfeeding and the pros and cons of vaccinations. But nobody actually told me about what it would take to raise my child.

In the beginning, when my son spent most of his days sleeping, it was easy. I’d say some prayers in his ears, do my work behind the computer and even take meetings with him in the stroller. As he got older and started running around, I brought on a helper. I thought that I could neatly slot my son into my life: 2 hours of play with the helper, 2 hours of naptime and another hour or so of play with the helper equaled plenty of time for my work and the rest would be mommy and kiddy time. I felt really connected too, because I worked from home and I could keep an “eye” on him at all times; “watch” him as he played.

My helper did her very best. She’s a loving mother of three, has a great heart and I trust her about as much as a person can trust another. She is extra careful when she’s outside with him and he falls down less when he’s with her than when he’s with me. But as I “watched” with one eye, I began to notice that she would make choices, however subtle, that I would not have made. She did things that I would do differently.

One day my son threw his puzzle in rage, because he couldn’t figure out the way the shapes fitted in. He tried and when success didn’t come to him right away, he became frustrated and threw the pieces to the floor, biting his own arm as he does when things don’t go his way. I watched as she gently and lovingly redirected his attention to another game. I guess there’s nothing wrong with that, except that one of my own biggest challenges in life has been patience and perseverance. And it dawned on me, as I typed with one eye and watched them with another, that I was missing out on some of the most valuable opportunities to really “raise” my kid.

Something pulled me away from where I was sitting and I was compelled to join my son on the floor and encourage him to keep trying with the shapes, as many times and as many days as it took for him to start letting go of his tantrums over the puzzle and take pleasure in the challenge of trying to solve it.

That was when I knew I had some serious choices to make for myself and I haven't look back since. Every day with my son is a gift from God and I enjoy it to the fullest. It’s not easy for us women to figure these things out and the process of being a mom has been very humbling. Where before I was quick to judge other moms, I now understand just how challenging and unexpected things can be. We have unique children and unique situations. There is only one thing we can't give enough of: love. Overwhelming love - check out this article about it.

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